Keep the house or sell it? How to decide after a breakup in Ireland

When a relationship ends and there is a shared home involved, the question is rarely just emotional. In Ireland, couples who own a property together often have to decide whether one person will keep the house and buy the other person out, or whether they will sell up and start again separately.

There is no one right answer. But asking yourself the right questions – and doing a bit of maths – can make the decision less overwhelming.

Is buying someone out of a house in Ireland even realistic?

The idea of staying in the family home can be very appealing, especially if you have children or deep roots in the area. But the first test is simple: can you actually afford it?

To buy someone out, you generally need to:

Agree a realistic market value for the property

Look at the outstanding mortgage balance

Work out the equity and each person’s share

Decide how much you would need to pay the other person for their share

Many people use a house buyout calculator Ireland style tool as a starting point. By entering the current value, mortgage and the other person’s percentage share, you can see an approximate buyout figure before speaking to solicitors or lenders.

Will a bank approve you on your own?

Even if the equity split looks manageable on paper, your lender still has to agree. Buying your ex-partner out usually means:

Taking over the existing mortgage in your name only, or

Replacing it with a new mortgage that is large enough to cover both the old loan and the buyout

This is where a simple mortgage repayment calculator Ireland can be eye-opening. It lets you:

Test different loan amounts

Try various interest rates and terms

See whether the monthly repayment fits your income and budget

If the numbers are tight even before you add childcare, car costs and everyday bills, keeping the house may not be sustainable – no matter how emotionally attached you feel.

What if you both sell and start fresh?

Selling the property and splitting the net proceeds is sometimes the cleanest solution, although it is not always easy in practice. It might be worth considering this route if:

Neither of you can comfortably afford the mortgage alone

The property no longer suits either person long term

There is significant equity and both of you want a fresh start

Before listing the property, it can still be useful to do the basic equity calculation – similar to buying someone out of a house in Ireland, but this time with the aim of understanding what each of you might walk away with after selling.

Hidden costs that often get ignored

Whether you keep or sell, there are additional costs that go beyond the simple buyout number:

Legal fees for the transfer of equity or sale

Valuation fees for the lender

Possible stamp duty or tax implications depending on the type of transfer

Moving costs, storage, new furniture, repairs

On a more practical level, if you keep the property, you also take on the full burden of:

Maintenance and repairs

Property tax and insurance

Dealing with any future interest rate rises

Running these numbers honestly – even in a simple spreadsheet – can help you compare scenarios side by side.

Thinking about space and future needs

It is also important to ask whether the house still fits your life. Sometimes a property that felt perfect as a couple or young family no longer makes sense once things change.

If you are considering downsizing, it can even be useful to look at basics such as how to measure the size of a room in square metres or how much usable space you actually need. It is easy to underestimate how comfortable a slightly smaller, more affordable home can be compared to stretching every month to keep a large house that belongs to a past chapter of your life.

Give yourself permission to choose the less dramatic option

From the outside, selling up and starting again can sound dramatic, while keeping the house looks like the “sensible” choice. In reality, the sensible choice is the one that:

Keeps you financially stable

Minimises long-term conflict

Leaves you enough room in your budget (and your head) to build a new life

Sometimes that is staying and buying someone out of a house in Ireland. Sometimes it is selling, splitting the equity and walking away from a property that has become too heavy to carry.

Running the numbers with a house buyout calculator, checking repayments with a mortgage calculator and talking early to your bank and solicitor will not make the emotional decision for you – but it will make sure you are not flying blind.